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Since February is literally tomorrow and it’s Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, I figured I’d talk a bit about dating violence and things to keep in mind when you feel you’re ready to live for yourself again.

I firmly believe that I was in a sort of emotionally abusive relationship. I don’t want to go into detail, but take my word for it when I say that it was the worst—but coincidentally, it has helped me reach my best.

Nothing is better than experience, but with enough knowledge, you can know just who you are and just what you want without having to acquire the battle scars.

All you have to do is listen.

It’s very difficult to see through the haze of love. You could look back years from now and damn yourself for not listening to the people around you that actually cared about your well-being. Maybe you’ll even see how your abuse was dressed in a gown of gold, and how eager you were to call it beautiful.

My abuse was a stunning white light that I thought lit up the path to everything I ever wanted, but I realize now that, when I finally reached paradise, my blind eyes didn’t let me appreciate it.

Here are some things to remember:

  • Don’t let anybody force you into doing something that you don’t want to do just to keep them satisfied or around.
  • People say what they mean. Those little backhanded comments that evolve from tiny whispers to proclamations are not jokes, they are not just kidding.
  • You’re not a guitar to be fined tuned to someone else’s standards. If they aren’t willing to accept your songs, leave. It may feel like the wrong option to make because you’ll be lonely and maybe they say that you won’t find anyone with ears precise enough to stand your pitch, but you can listen to the radio while you recover.
  • There is someone out there who will love you like you deserve and it’s not the person who says there isn’t.
  • Make decisions you know you are comfortable with.
  • Do not let somebody work their way into your mind and plant a seed that your rich soils are too healthy to nourish; don’t let somebody turn your garden into a swamp.
  • You’re not selfish for wanting to do something to please yourself instead of somebody else.
  • If you are in a relationship you feel you can’t get out of because of what they may do to you, seek help.
  • Not everyone is your enemy.
  • It may sound incredibly hard to believe, but there are forces in the universe rooting for you, whether it be any God(s) you believe in, or the callouses on your hands that remind you of the things you’re able to grasp now that you’ve gotten past a pain you thought would last forever.

As you read this—at every second that you inhaled and exhaled and let your eyes flicker from one word to the other—you were changing as a person.

You have the power to break constancy. Don’t be the same you, you were a second ago.

Be stronger.

 

 

Categories: Other
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Hey guys! This is Hamna Tariq from Pakistan. ViolenceI\’ve recently noticed that the streets in my city are mostly crowded with males and hardly do I spot a woman nowadays. This has concerned me greatly as girls tend to stay home, hidden from society, to prevent them from being harassed. As a result, several women leave their jobs and their families become a target of poverty. In today’s society women are not even safe enough to walk to a nearby market alone. They are trapped within the four walls of their house so they remain ‘secure’. 

Adolescent girls, who dream of success, are forced to do household chores or marry someone so other men are not able to harass them. This disrupts their education and they are not able to live their life the way they want. This caged oppressive life causes psychological problems for adolescent girls and not only do they have to carry the burden of maintaining a household but also endure the pain of childbirth and an age when they should be studying.

Two years ago, I had a girl in my class, Mishaal. We were good friends and had the same subjects. However, she was forced to leave school. Why? Because her ‘brother’ felt that by coming to school, she came in contact with males thus she should sit home and do what women are supposed to do; household chores and get married. She had to sacrifice her education and her dream of becoming a doctor because of a certain mindset inculcated in our society. But why does this mindset exist in the first place? This is because of the lack of laws and regulations ensuring women’s safety. It is believed that women are ‘supposed’ to be harassed when they leave their homes. Why else would they come out?

This trend of adolescent girls being barred from society is on the increase. There should be strong and adequately resourced child protection systems which do not only secure girls from all kinds of harassment but allows them to live their lives freely without fear. Thus, safety is a pertinent issue that needs to be addressed and hopefully by working together we can protect adolescent girls all around the world from violence and exploitation.

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What is love? Definition may vary from person to person. For someone love may be family, friends, food, shopping etc. But have we ever just thought about love for our body? Many of us want a fit and well figured body but have we ever thought of over sized body? Every single person is unique due to individual physical trait.

Body image is how you view your physical self including whether you feel and whether other like your looks. In present context it is seen as one of the major problem among teens, especially girls. They think that body image is all that matters which is playing major role in decreasing their self confidence. Does confidence only come when you have a perfect body? We should not change our body to get respect from the society; instead let’s change the society to respect our bodies.

#GirlDeclaration #post2015 #globaldev #girlsandwomen#girleffect #investingirls #generation2030

Categories: International
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Menstruation is a natural process in the human body and is absolutely normal. Then why is it such an issue in our society? A recent argument with my mother made me question the stupid rituals that we have in the name of culture and tradition. My mother is quite liberal regarding my freedom and choices. However, she still has her beliefs in the pointless rituals that we have been following without reasoning and those are quite deeply rooted in her. It was a simple mistake of entering the kitchen during my period. There is a great “Taboo” that girls are impure during their periods and so shouldn’t enter the kitchen. I still don’t understand, how is it that we become “Impure”. The scolding turned into a discussion and discussion into an argument. An argument over a totally ridiculous topic!!

Our culture and traditions have shaped our thinking and beliefs in such a way that we blindly follow them without actually thinking what it means or if it is good or bad, relevant in today’s context or not. I feel that I am quite lucky for I haven’t had to experience any form of extreme discrimination during the menstruation which is still prevalent in many parts of our country especially in the rural areas. It is sad to know that girls have gone through horrible experiences of discrimination during their periods, where they are not allowed into the house and are forced to stay in the cow sheds in an unhygienic environment with no nutritious food whatsoever. This is widely prevalent in the western part of our country in the name of “Chhaupadi Pratha”. Why should a girl be subjected to such cruelty for something that is so natural just in the name of tradition? This is the time when the girl needs the proper care, love and support from the family members, not abandonment. This would destroy her not only physically but also emotionally. With time there have been many changes and development but there doesn’t seem to be any improvement or changes in the thinking of people and the same olds still linger along.

There is a need for change, a change in thought, attitude and behavior towards the betterment. The fact that girls have to go through these social tortures on top of what she is going through physically is very unacceptable. After all its just period…they are not bringing the end of the world!!!

Categories: Young People
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Youth migration to foreign lands in Nepal is a growing trend these days. Youths of ages 15 to 29 years migrate to the countries like India, Malaysia, Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Philippines mainly for the purpose of foreign employment. According to the Ministry of youth of Nepal, 400,000 youths enter the migrant labor market every year. This migrant population is at a greater risk for poor health in general and HIV infection in particular. In Nepal, there is a concentrated epidemic of HIV and AIDS among the migrants and thus are considered as one of the at-risk population. The prevalence of HIV and AIDS among migrants is estimated to be about 1.1% as in 2008. This is due to the unhealthy lifestyle behaviors of the migrants, reduced availability and accessibility of health services in the host country and lack of proper policies or its implementation addressing the health issues of migrants in Nepal.

Since, the number of youths migrating for foreign employment is increasing; the issue of HIV and AIDS among them is of major concern and of prime importance. Yet not much has been mentioned in the migration policy of Nepal. It has only one section on health stating the need for a screening health checkup before migrating to other countries. Even this small section of policy doesn’t seem to be properly implemented, for there are people who are given the clear check even if they haven’t had the health check up. The situation, in case of HIV test is even graver. There is no counseling given to the migrants neither is their privacy maintained. Even if the counseling is provided, its quality is highly questionable. The stigma regarding HIV and AIDS in Nepal makes it worse because they fear of being found out and skip the counseling and follow up. A critical review of the policy and its reformation seems to be of primary importance, so that the problems of migrants regarding HIV and AIDS could be addressed with possible implication on reduction of HIV and AIDS incidence among the migrants.

Categories: HIV
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So I sat down with a HIV Positive teen and asked him would he mind telling me his story. A couple things that stood out ; he was diagnosed at the age of 15 , he met his partner on an gay social app , and he was a virgin at the time. He knew absolutely nothing about sex and this is how he’s going to remember it forever . NOT COOL ! As he spoke about his diagnosis the conversation got very intense and emotional. The guy whom he had sexual intercourse with was already aware of his status and preyed on young men like a starving tiger on a farm filled with cows. He stated he was scared and his conscience was telling him no , but he wanted to loose his virginity. So he had sex with the guy and as the days go by he noticed he haven’t heard from the guy. He took it as a sign and figured he shouldn’t talk to him again or speak of him again. A month later he started to feel very ill. He described as being in the coma (he was never in a coma). So one of his friends brought the guys name up in a conversation and the things he had to say made the teen feel more ill. The Guy purposely gave him HIV out of anger. The teen thought he did something to the partner , only to find out that the was already on his 12th victim. The teen cried and prayed to god he wasn’t positive. So he went to get tested with friends which received the terrible news. He felt his life was over , no one will want him, and he was dying. He’s now on his 3rd year living with the virus and he’s stronger than he was before the diagnosis. So if we had the right education  in school this poor gullible child could’ve took precaution. It’s so unfair to let someone else take your soul away out of anger. Something has to be done at these high schools to teach these teens better because the rate for HIV in the community is rising and this will not be good for the generations coming. So wrap it up & get checked. You can’t trust anyone. To read more on this teen story click the link below. . .

http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2012-09-07/news/fl-pines-hiv-teen-sex-arrest-20120906_1_sunrise-man-pembroke-pines-police-facebook-page

 

Categories: HIV
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A one school have many kind of subject for teaching like; English, math, science, Nepali etc. Teacher may learn many thing in time of teaching that topics and also student can learn many kind of knowledge, ideas about particular topics yes? But we not sure that is implement and practically use in our life or not? We have not ideas but we read and teaching compulsory these topic yes? E.P.H. and science books has include in our schools, in E.P.H. books have many contents of sexual and reproductive health right education but why teacher and student feel uncomfortable for teaching and learning. About its topics? Why teacher are not teach in friendly and comfortable environment about its topics and why student cannot read, learn openly in this topics? Human being is change, develop, growth, within time and natural process. His/her physically, psychology, social, mental and emotional factor is change day by day and it continuous process. That necessary to gain knowledge, ideas, about its topic. If people have totally ideas about SRHR topics they are not feel crisis of knowledge and implement. It is practically use in our life so this necessary for understand about its topic. One of the medium of learning its knowledge that is school and books. But why it’s difficult for understand, teaching and study? Why teacher feel difficult to teach and also student cannot get proper and friendly environment for learn, study? All subject are study and teaching easily from side of teacher and student, why not they can flow, learn and teach about this topic of sexual and reproductive health rights why not………………..?

Categories: Sex Education
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In a surprising turn of events Wednesday night, House Republican leadership decided to cancel their Thursday vote on a 20-week abortion ban. The decision was largely driven by GOP Congresswomen who felt that the details of the ban were too harsh and would further alienate their party from young and female voters in 2016. The bill, which made the usual exemptions for rape, incest, and the life of the parent, did so in a more restrictive way than is usually attempted. The rape exemption only applies to survivors who have already reported their assault to the police (something that happens in only an estimated 35% of rape cases), and the incest exemption also requires prior reporting, but is only available to survivors who are 17 years old or younger.

During an interview, Congresswoman Renee Ellmers of South Carolina described her hesitation on the restriction of the rape exemption. “The issue becomes,” she said, “we’re questioning the woman’s word. We have to be compassionate to women when they’re in a crisis situation.”

With similar concern, Congressman Charles Dent of Pennsylvania voiced his confusion on the logic behind the age limit of the incest exemption. “So the exception would apply to a 16-year-old but not a 19-year-old?” he questioned. “I mean, incest is incest.”

While the bill, titled the (medically inaccurate) Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, is off the House floor for now, Congressman Chris Smith of New Jersey isn’t ready to give up on it. While speaking to the House Rules Committee, he said, “I would just briefly mention that the pain-capable legislation is only delayed. It’ll be up on the floor, it’ll be up on the floor soon. That bill, I promise you, will be back on the floor very, very shortly.” It’s unclear whether he’ll be able to make this happen given the dissention that has made itself evident within the party as they’re trying to make the GOP more palatable to younger voters before next year’s Presidential election.

Instead, the Republicans decided to vote today on a different anti-abortion bill, one called the No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion and Abortion Insurance Full Disclosure Act. It passed by 242-179, with only one Republican voting against it and three Democrats voting in favor.

While the bill makes it sound like there is currently federal money being used to fund abortions, that’s just not the case- not entirely. What’s known as the Hyde Amendment has been routinely passed each year for decades and states that no federal funds may be used to assist poor women in accessing abortion services. The amendment does have exemptions for rape, incest, and the life of the parent, but the bill voted on today also allows for those exemptions. The only difference is that today’s bill would make the funding restriction permanent.

In addition, the bill also bans the federal government from subsidizing health insurance plans which offer coverage for one of the most common out-patient medical procedures in the country: abortion. One-third of American women will have an abortion by the time they are 45. Considering how many people of reproductive age are currently getting an affordable, reduced rate on their health insurance plans thanks to ObamaCare, the passage of this bill through the House is a national health concern.

Now that the Senate has a Republican majority as well, pro-choice and pro-abortion activists cannot rely on bills like this being restricted to one chamber of Congress. President Obama promised in Tuesday’s State of the Union address that he would veto any 20-week abortion ban, and while he’s very likely to veto this funding bill should it pass the Senate, reproductive rights in America are far from secure.

 

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Freedom of speech applies to all of us, not just adults. This right is enshrined in the Constitution for all citizens to enjoy whether they be 8 or 80 and whether they are in their homes or their schools. School officials in the Rankin County School District need to be reminded of this right. After two students attempted to form a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) at Brandon High School, Rankin County Superintendent Lynn Weathersby told school board members he had talked with counsel about how to prevent what he referred to as “gay clubs” from forming on campus. Weathersby said he was told the best way to prevent organizations the district “doesn’t want” would be to require students who wish to join any club to obtain parental consent. Unfortunately, many parents view GSAs in the same derogatory way as Superintendent Weathersby. If students are required to have parental consent, many will be barred from joining GSAs and other organizations. While Superintendent Weatherby denied knowing that a GSA was in the process of being formed at the time, the timing of the remarks and the district’s new parental consent policy is highly suspicious and indicative of the need that Mississippi schools have for organizations like GSAs that allow for the free exchange of ideas and provides a safe space for students to combat anti-LGBT bullying and harassment.  Currently, there are 4 high schools in Mississippi that have a GSA (Oxford High School, Lafayette High School, Mississippi School for the Arts, and Mississippi School of Math and Science) and 5 high schools have GSAs that are pending, including Ridgeland High School in Madison County which is near Rankin County. With so few GSAs and such resistance against their existence, the need for organizations likes GSAs is clear. Our students are not safe to be who they are nor are they free to exercise their right to freedom of speech.

 

Under the Federal Equal Access Act, any school that receives government funding and has at least one other non-curricular club must also allow a GSA. As the law states, “It shall be unlawful for any public secondary school which receives federal financial assistance…to deny equal access or a fair opportunity to, or discriminate against, any students who wish to conduct a meeting …on the basis of the religious, political, philosophical, or other content of the speech at such meetings.”  The purpose of school is to allow for students to grow not only intellectually, but also socially and emotionally. By restricting students’ right to form clubs that would further this mission, Rankin County is infringing on both the students’ constitutional rights and their rights as students. While school officials noted that the parental consent policy will be “applied equally to all clubs and students,” it is not the implementation of the policy, but the policy itself that should be under fire. Some might argue that requiring parental consent for joining clubs, while  unorthodox, hardly infringes on students’ rights to form a GSA.  In reality, the parental consent requirement makes equal access impossible. What parent would deny their child the right to join, say, a swimming club or a chess club? Many parents would, however, deny their child the right to join a Gay-Straight Alliance if they felt that it was against their personal beliefs or felt that it would corrupt their child. The Rankin County school officials had this knowledge in mind when crafting the policy since their stated intent was to prevent clubs that they “don’t want.”

 

The whims of school officials shouldn’t determine our children’s education. High school students should have a say in determining what form their education takes, especially in a non-curricular setting. If this includes forming clubs that some parents might not agree with, then there is nothing wrong with that. Freedom of speech and expression are crucial to the foundation of our nation and our youth must have the right to express their views even when those views clash with those of school officials and even parents.

 

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Every human being originated from a single cell. After lots of phases/stages, human have evolved. We became the most intelligent living being and successor of the world. Back from Stone Age till now, human are categorized as male and female with our sex. As the world began to civilize, people started wearing clothes to cover their bare body, they began to differentiate people in different categories, and they developed their own rules and ethics. People achieved a lot and lost a lot during civilization. They grew physically and mentally in the course of time. All people worked together to achieve the success that human have now. Not only men or women worked alone to achieve this height of success. But after all these centuries, still women are at the shadow. Still in various part of the world, women are not empowered as much as men. The condition is still bad in the most part of southern Asia, Africa. Male dominating society still is rooted to be the barrier for women empowerment.

In southern Asia, there are critical condition for women where they are not secured within their own locality, they are not free to go outside, and they are harassed, abused. They are not respected as much as men. Even their own family don’t support them for their studies because they consider women are meant to marry so they just need to learn house work. This stigma leads women to dark side where they are not well educated, not aware of the problems they might face in near future. The stigma is so deep rooted that the family are not aware of the consequences their daughter might face in future. This social stigma becomes one of the cause of the increasing number of crimes like rape. When the society is male dominated and the women cannot raise their voice for the justice, the crimes grows more and more.

The UN Multi-country Study on Men and Violence in Asia and the Pacific surveyed over 10,000 men at nine sites in six countries: Bangladesh, China, Cambodia, Indonesia, Papua New Guinea, and Sri Lanka. At the survey site in China, 23 percent of men admitted to at least one rape. In Papua New Guinea, that figure was 61 percent. Although there are lots of rape cases around the globe, very few of the women are able to raise voice for their justice. Most of the women are still scared of their society which gives more inspiration to the rapist and the crimes goes on.

According to researched performed by Racheal Jewkes on Asia, Sexual entitlement was the most common motivation across all of these countries. Sexual entitlement means feeling that you ought to be able to have sex with a woman—essentially, if you want it, you can have it. The attitude of the police in many countries often discourages victims from reporting rape: one study in Turkey found that 33% of police officers agreed with the assertion that “some women deserve rape” and 66% agreed that “the physical appearance and behaviors of women tempt men to rape.”

 

Some of the people really sets very bad example of human being. Before differentiating one another on the basis of sex, gender, religion, countries; we all are human being. Though we may have different language, different culture and community; we all have one thing common and that is Humanity. Humanity has been described as “the quality of being humane”. But some people has completely lost their humanity and lost the privilege of being called human. Women are no different than men. We have same capability to perceive, think, and imagine the world.

Every Human should learn to respect another Human because “what goes around comes around”. Real men don’t rape; only those cowards who doesn’t have courage to respect women; rape. There was a phrase on internet which was too meaningful for them who thinks wearing short dress for women means the invitation for rape: “If you blame the rape victim because her clothes was provocative then you must also blame bank that was robbed because its content were provocative”.

I respect every human regardless of their sex, gender, religion and all the differences that human have set. And I believe “You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.”

#GirlDeclaration #post2015 #globaldev #girlsandwomen #girleffect #investingirls #generation2030

Categories: Sexual Violence