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Three years ago today, I had to make the hardest decision of my life. After being forced out of grad school due to post-trauma due to sexual abuse from my old boarding school nearly 5 years before, and after a near successful suicide attempt, I decided that it was now or never. Connecticut’s statute of limitations for rape was almost up and I decided to finally go back to that small town in Connecticut and file charges against the school that wronged me so many years before.

It was not an easy process. I woke up one Saturday morning, and drove up to my alma mater, Ramapo College, which I had managed to graduate from a year before. I had not eaten or slept in a few days after making the announcement. I was there to pick up the friend for what was close to the long drive. We discussed our time at Ramapo and it began really well, but when I was getting close to New Haven, I had to let my friend take the wheel.

We finally reached the town of Madison, CT. Madison is one of those small towns in Connecticut where everyone knows everyone and snootiness reigns supreme. We get out and I finally am able to tell my story to the police officer, who seemed pretty nice. When we got out of the station, I finally was able to eat and we went back to Ramapo College; I then went to New York City and spent the night/got drunk.

Of course, the storm was only beginning. A few weeks later, on July 8, while I was out and about, my old advisor from the school, D, called my residence. I felt very uncomfortable, as I was 23 years old and they had no right to do so. I finally had to come out about what had happened to me, and thankfully, my parents were supportive (this was one year before I began transition). Later, in November of that year, the school’s lawyers sent me an intimidating letter threatening to sue me and stating that there was no record of me ever filing a police report. It took a call to the prosecutor’s office to actually find the report, which I can imagine, has been buried.

Nothing ever came of the case. I have to deal with the bitter memories of that man everyday, as well as the staff members who refused to help.

Just recently, a man sued the school for injuries he had received while there, the case is John Doe v. the Grove School; though his case was not sexual in nature like mine, it still was indicative of abusive behavior, and it appears that there may be a judgment against that old school, which was a queerphobic hellhole full of victim blaming and no real efforts to combat bullying.

-Jordan Gwendolyn Davis

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