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I saw this and thought to myself, "There’s NO WAY IN HELL I’m passing this up. Futhamuckers lost their minds." I’m still struggling to wrap my head around this. Is this even legal? Before I blather on any further, I should probably explain what the Zeus I’m talking about right? Pipedream Products, makers of sex toys I assume, just released a ‘Finally Mylie’ sex doll which comes with "3 aching love holes". Excuse me while I lose my lunch. *hurl*

The doll is completely sold out just 48 hours after its debut. Smarty-pants Kevin Johnson of Pipedream Products is reported as saying "I have seen those [lawsuit] rumors circling online. That probably means it will happen soon enough." YA THINK? You modeled a sex doll after a very popular 18 year-old. Have you no shame sir? That goes for every pedo out there as well.

Apparently, Pipedream Products is a repeat offender, having previously made sex dolls in the likenesses of starts like Lady Gaga [Lady Gag Gag…”She loves it when you poke her face”], Sarah Jessica Parker [Sarah Jessica Pork Her…”Loves sex in her shitty”] *puking sound*, Britney Spears, and Kim Kardashian have all been victims of this nastiness which I hereby dub “Disgusto el barfo” a là Kelly Kapoor from ‘The Office’.

In other news, South Africa’s The Independent in their attempt to cover this issue, may have committed slander. In the report, there’s a statement about Billy Ray Cyrus expressing concern over Miley’s well being after she was photographed smoking Marijuana. First of all two-bit reporter, it was a video not a photo. Second, it was Salvia not Marijuana. Even Goldfish know this and they have 3-second memories. Tsk Tsk. I smell some very ripe bias.

It bothers me that sex toy producers like Pipedream are allowed to exhibit this kind of disgusting behavior in the name of enterprise and the enhancement of sexual pleasure. By all means, make your sex dolls and sell them to those who enjoy using them. I draw the line at this kind of blatant sexualization, especially in a case where the young lady concerned is supposed to be a role model. Forget role model, she’s a human being who doesn’t deserve to have perverted things done to her likeness just so a horny individual can rub one out.

If this goes to court and some ignorant judge rules in favor of Pipedream because the doll’s name is spelt M-Y-L-I-E instead of M-I-L-E-Y, I will be highly disappointed.

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