I know most of you are thinking this post will be about the first time I ever had sex, but it’s not. I’m going to share to you all about the first time my parents ever realized I was a lesbian.
It was the summer after 7th grade. My girlfriend at the time and I have been going out for at least two months around the time my mom started to notice. She was my first girl kiss, girl touch, girlfriend, anything girl. She was and still is completely special to me. Anyway, to get back on track, my mom found out through Facebook. She saw post and comments that my girl and I would send to each other. That night she called me into the kitchen with my sister there to be her translater because I suck at understanding Spanish. She told me she saw the post and that I need to call “my friend” and tell her it’s over and that I’m not allowed to ever see her again. I began crying and shouting, “We’re just friends! Those post are just her and I joking around! Please don’t make me do this!” But my mom started screaming at me saying being a lesbian is a sin, it’s an abomination to God. On top of that my sister was siding with my mom saying, “Why would you joke around like that with a girl?”. At that moment I felt hopeless… I called my girlfriend and told her the heartbreaking news.. but we agreed on keeping our relationship secret. A week later my mom comes barging into my room full of irate! Her face red like blood, eyes like the devil, and her teeth showed off like an angry dog.. She began shouting, “I know you still talk to that lesbian! I checked your messages online! I told you to stop! Blah blah blah!” I didn’t know what to say… while she shouted she began choking me, spitting on me, calling me names that still hurt me when I think of them. She took my phone away, then left my room. I charged after her crying, yelling, “Sorry! Please! I’m not a lesbian ” And then my dad asks, “What’s happening?” My mother had kept this whole lesbian thing a secret. So, to make my mom look like the bad guy I told my dad that my mom is calling me a lesbian when I’m not (I really didn’t want to come out the closet so I kept denying) . My dad begins yelling at my mom asking why she’s calling me that and she tells him everything… and then he starts yelling at me to go to my room. Two hours later he comes in asking me to tell him the truth because he needs to know if he’s defending a straight person because apparently people at church were talking about it. I kept denying who I am and told him what he wanted to hear.
After that incident I go back to dating guys and live an unhappy life. For two years I deny being a lesbian to myself! Until the end of my sophomore year when I decided to stop hiding who I am and just be happy. All my friends know and support me. My parents still don’t know but whenever my mom brings it up I don’t deny it but I also don’t confirm it. I’m sure my parents know but they are just in denial… I don’t plan on telling them till after I stop depending on them.. I’m only a junior in high school: I still need them for a lot of things. I get tired of lying to them about everything I do but hey, I have no choice.