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Just in case we were all unaware or had perhaps forgotten that a lot of men are insecure, little, princesses, here is a reminder. Traditional masculinity is so fragile that it is threatened by the mere notion of ingesting probiotics. It has happened comrades, there is yogurt for men now. Yes. Yogurt created and marketed specifically towards men. Excuse me while I throw my head back and laugh.

First it was the “AXE Shower Tool” because manly men couldn’t handle using a regular loofah. I mean, what’s more emasculating than that? Not only did the tool cost more than a regular loofah, but it was also pretty much a regular loofah with extra plastic and the word AXE stamped onto it.Now this spectacle.

And let’s not even talk about the unnecessary sexualization going on here. It’s just yogurt guys. Why are women with phallic objects necessary to entice you into exercising and eating well? Why must life be one long, uninspired porno? Do you really think that the women in the photo would be attracted to someone who needs to eat a yogurt branded as ‘powerful’ in order to feel worthy of the junk between his thighs? Gender stereotypes are overrated. Get over yourself and go buy yourself some Müller or Giant brand yogurt. There are so many choices out there. But of course the world revolves around you and we must all pause once in a while to think up ways to make you feel like you’re the king of the jungle.

Dudes, get your ish together please.

 

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