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Nov 10, 2010
I don’t know how many of you all watch Oprah; I don’t watch her much myself, but I was drawn to watch when I heard Tyler Perry was going to be on. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to watch it, but that’s what the internet is for right? First, I want to thank Tyler Perry and the 200 Men for sharing their stories with the world; it’s takes a lot of courage to share the trauma they have endured.
Tyler has taken the opportunity to let others who have been molested and/or abuse, especially men, know that they are not alone. As a successful man, he certain illustrates that you can’t judge a book by its cover. For those of you who didn’t watch the interview, on Oprah Tyler Perry shares with the world that he experienced extreme physical abuse by his father and between the ages of 5 and 10 he was molested by 4 individuals (3 males & 1 woman). He describes how he tried to deal with the abuse by going to another place in his mind and struggled with his sexuality because he didn’t understand why he had erection when he was molested. He says he felt his body betrayed him. I think this is an important issue Tyler brings up, men who are raped not reporting it because they think it makes them less than of a man or gay.
When in a Women’s and Gender’s Course last year, we read the stories of men who had been molested by other men, and discussed why many men don’t report being molested and how confused they were because they ejaculated. Does this make them gay? Did they like it? In our society, we mix ejaculation with orgasm. Some molesters purposely make their victims ejaculate to make themselves feel the victim likes it, but ejaculating in these cases is a physiological reaction and not a psychological reaction of enjoying the act of being molested. During anal sex, the prostate is greatly stimulated and increases the occurrence of ejaculation. And so when molesters rape victims anally, and male victims ejaculate it is important for them to know that it doesn’t men they liked and it doesn’t make them gay. Another reason men don’t report being raped is because in our society men are "supposed" to be able to protect themselves and not be vulnerable. Because of this, many people find it hard to believe men get raped. One testimony I read, a man reported being molested and the policemen laughed and said that was impossibly. Men are raped just like women;Being a man doesn’t make you invincible.
"Oprah: Did [the molestations] leave you confused sexually?
Tyler: Yes, absolutely. How could it not? I knew I liked the little girls in the neighborhood, but this man was doing something to me and my body kept betraying me. It took me all of my 20s to figure out what this was that this man had given me to carry inside of my heterosexuality that did not belong to me. This is why so many men will not talk about this—the shame of having to admit that. And there is no textbook definition for what molestation does to someone. Each individual is different." (http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Tyler-Perry-Speaks-Out-About-Being-Molested-and-the-Aftermath/8)Categories: Uncategorized